HIM

I meet HIM and OUR WORLD is born.
our world of stolen glances and passionate kisses.
And it thrives with every handshake,every meet,every love bite,every promise .
I Meet HIM & I discover there are two souls residing in my one whole 5’9″ inches body.
I see something unseen- I see the soul of mine that’s too scared to be seen,but too shy to hide away beneath my brown skin.
when i meet HIM- i meet unknown side of mine that’s just been introduced to me like a menu card whose dishes are far hard to pronounce.
I try to make sense of who i really am with HIM.
I see, I hear , I touch like all this while my sensory organs were dead or maybe they never wanted to feel things differently in his absence that is in MY WORLD.
I meet HIM- My lips making every shape they can,their favourite being his ‘NAME’, My otherwise dry mouth bringing dead songs to life in OUR WORLD, which i sing only in my head.
our world, no matter made up of just a few minutes or hours is at least a world that we happily live in makes my soul dervish around.

Pic courtesy: https://instagram.com/bakrahmed5?igshid=1pmkx4dlixdpi

Cheers to Us!

Nights when I feel happy,I don’t miss a chance to dine and wine.
I come home drunk.
He doesn’t drink.He comes amongst those rarest breed of humans who don’t drink alcohol but they are absolutely fine with their partners having it responsibly.
So I sometimes prefer drinking at home.
I am lucky to have him,I think to myself as wine starts taking over my thoughts.
In bed I pull him closer to me,he refuses to kiss.
The odor of wine gets him mad,just like his soccer game does to me,but I don’t give up and then we kiss gently then wildly,and I win!
He’s grown moustaches pricks my cheeks but who cares, the kiss, the love and the heavy touch of his hand over my waist matters above everything.That feeling matters above everything.
We’ve have taken each other like’take me as I am’ in the world where everyone is after moulding their person into something that they really are not,I find my match,my partner mature if not the best.
Our love is not perfect kinda love, our love is a mature kinda love.
I don’t have to lecture or argue with him on feminism or girl boss,he understands me and is always ready for a healthy discussion on whatever topic we choose to talk on.We don’t overreact on commiting a mistake.
We correct our wrongs.we take responsibility for our problems and sort it out as a team.
Yes,we do fight.But this very love between us has given us a right to fight too.
We fight,we communicate, and then we are back to normal.
As much as I respect his space,his choices and care for his family (which by the way is Our Family),so does he.

Together we can go through any thick and thin of our life.
Together we evolve each passing day as a person, partners,lovers.

Changing people is not a big deal,big deal is to change ourselves or our faults.when we fail to change our behavior or whatever it is,we find faults in others and start changing them.
What matters in a relationship is trust,mutual understanding, love.
What you eat,drink,drive,wear are secondary things in any relationship.
When two of you would become old,all you will cherish is your good old memories, all your talks & fights & your love.You two will be your only support system then.
Only your Love that’s permanent will stay here long after you are dead.
So stop changing others or yourself and ‘take everyone as they are & give yourself as you are’.

Of Mogra & Memories.

It’s almost evening when I step out barefoot in the little garden of our courtyard to see how it looks after the very first rain shower of season,my feet get soiled with wet black soil. Like everyone else I too am excited to feel beauty & calm all around after the first rain shower.our little garden is delighted with the rain shower and is happy in the company of plants like Jasmine(Mogra),Lotus,Champa(firangipani),Tulsi,Juhi,the night flowering jasmine and some unwanted weed creeping from the black soil and climbers that have kept the look of garden in place.
A faint chill of wind bring me the fragrance of these flowers to smell before I even get to see them properly.My nostrils full of heavenly fragrances.My expanded lung,for a second exhausted, trying to take in all the smell it can!
I see black ants running here and there,snails with their slow pace squiggling the moist soil beneath.
Sun playing hide & seek past the unevenly gray-white and little bit of yellowish clouds moving west.
It’s difficult to tell if it’s early morning or early evening,if it’s sunset or sunrise.
As I start strolling with my soiled feet my eyes take me straight to the mogra plant that hasn’t shied away from prospering hither-tither with time. A few dead mogra flowers are fallen on the ground while a few still holding on to the plant, a few wilted & a few whitest of white and so fresh like it’s bloomed right in front of my eyes. My eyes behold them and time standstill. I feel peace in the air surrounding this plant. No wonder white equals to peace!
I take three steps closer to hug the plant like a child as tight as I can,a sudden wave of nostalgia hits me in the gut. I remember feeling hugged this thight by my granny when she was alive. The smell,the petals of each white mogra flower,the green leaves and it’s moistness hugs me back. As I walk towards other plants moving away from this plant,my brother hands me a scalding cup of tea and says “you smell like Granny today.Did you just apply her hair-oil?”
I take a sip of tea and say “How can I not smell like her,when I just hugged her.” He gave me a puzzled look and ran after butterflies flying from flower to flower.
As far as I remember mogra was the first thing granny & I had planted with her wrinkled and my tiny hands in our garden,mogra was the first thing that has come to life in the black soil of this garden with our love & care and mogra was the first flower whose fragrance I loved as a child and continue to love to this day and also mogra is the flower that keeps my granny alive in me. Whenever I water this plant,I know I am not just watering mogra but also watering memories of granny that comes alive with this plant.The plant keeps growing in new times with old memories & old emotions stuck in it. We never grow weary of nurturing this one special plant because in heart of hearts we know that we can never loose a part of someone we can never ever have, that comes to life on touching and seeing this plant. In an effort to save that good old memories we nurture that special plant,we save that special plant like its the only last plant available on this planet and if its lost it’s s lost forever.If it’s gone,gone forever will be the memories. Mogra once had a place in her braided hair ,now it has,in front of her photograph.
No matter how many number of plants we have in our garden, one plant is always special for a reason and for me Mogra will always be a sign of our past talks, her wrinkled hands, our memories, our hugs and her smell!

Are you an emotional douche bag?

I am sitting in a cafe all by myself ,Sipping a hot cup of coffee.
A sudden wave of emotional outbursts hit me from nowhere and tears start rolling down my cheeks.
I don’t know what’s going on. Neither do I know if everything is alright with me. Everything seems alright but everything seems so not alright. Have you felt like what I am feeling now?
Have you ever felt that you are not in a stable state of mind and still you happen to wear a bright smile,get dressed and go on?
I hate to display my emotions in public,& I least expect to show it in a cafe full of strangers. I am ok if I am emotionally vulnerable with some familiar person.
This feeling of being emotionally unstable makes me weak.I think I am emotionally screwed up & cannot control my emotions well. I hate this about me. But isn’t it ok to be weak sometimes & accept it?
Aren’t we all tired of showing our strengths to the world & more importantly to ourselves? Weakness tells you what you lack & how to improve it for the better.
If we hide our weaknesses behind our strengths, we never will be able to give attention to what needs the most improvement. Trying to show that you are all strong with no weak points in your system is like turning a blind eye to what needs your most attention.
Feel it: whatever you are feeling bad for. And later free it.
But don’t cry over it again and again.
Talk to yourself, to people who understand you and your feelings. Write about it.
If it’s a good feeling to talk about,then share it, also write about it and keep it.
If it’s a bad feeling then dump it(only after completely feeling it and sorting it out)
But don’t be an emotional douchebag.
Emotions of all kinds are meant to be felt. You cannot run from it. You can survive it only when you’ve faced it.
Don’t try to control or get controlled by your emotions.
So what feelings,emotions are you tryna run from & what are the ones you’re appreciating?
In short,
when it’s good:feel it.keep it.
when it’s bad:feel it.free it.

Mother…

My relation with my mother has never been of constant bonding or ‘closest to each other’ kinda bond or for that matter of best friend’s.
Its always been more of a rough ride than smooth.
Nevertheless it surely has been of love, empathy & respect for each other.
As I observe my mother closely I know I don’t want to be her kind of strong. If I have to tell you what I mean by my mother’s strength its just two simple words. two plain words that she’s given meaning to.two words that drains life and blood outta her yet she never agrees.
Two words: Affection and Giving,giving with selfless heart like she’s mastered the art of it.Like she has the most generous heart on this planet.
she’s untiringly affectionate towards the people who lack it, who crave it, who search for it.
she’s selflessly giving to the people who are deprived of things and of love and of care.
In this giving process she doesn’t know where to stop and how much to give. She keeps her resentment, longings, frustrations, and her mistakes along with our mistakes to herself. Only giving what’s most needed and wanted: Love & Care. She even owns our mistakes which makes me feel guilty. she gives and gives to the extent that she’s left with nothing for herself. But she doesn’t mind.she never does.
When I see her in the early hours of the morning while she’s taking a look at herself in the mirror I find her pretty & young. she continues with the day’s chores, and as the day transcends from morning to night she stops again at night to take a look in the mirror. I don’t know if she notices any difference or not but I do. I notice that a lifetime has passed between the morning and the night of the same day. I find her pale and exhausted because of the day’s work, worries, talks and laughter, and some sadness. The day has worn out this young beauty, I think to myself. I don’t see my young morning mother in her, I see someone who’s older to her age. Somene who’s tired of all this giving & being affectionate quality of hers. I tell her but she disagrees in a most convincing way. My heart so want to believe her,but my eyes refuses to.
Maybe she disagrees because these qualities which paint her face & sculpt her body with strengths are also the reason for the change that only I notice on her face. Like all of us maybe she too is afraid of her strength turning into her weaknesses.
I see her carefully rolling rotis, applying as less oil as possible while roasting them.
she adds all her love, worries, care, anger in the boiling pot of Vegetables to give it the best taste it deserves only to be validated or rejected by our tongues later.
She serves me what needs to be served. Only love & care on my plate leaving anger, worries for her to taste.
She asks me ‘how it’s made?’
I don’t know if she’s asking to taste her love & care for me in it or mine for her. I open my mouth to say ‘its D.E..L.IC.I.O.U.S.’ By the time I finish the word from D to S, I already see wrinkles receding from her face, forehead worry lines evaporating into a smile that runs to reach her eyes concealing her weaknesses. I notice her two almond-shaped eyes TWINKLING with Her two strengths. Her two weaknesses Her Affection and Giving.
To which she replies smilingly ” I know its delicious!”

Brain Expert Jim Kwik Teaches a New Way of Note Taking That Helps You Remember More and Procrastinate Less | Inc.com

In a new Inc. webinar, Limitless author and memory expert Jim Kwik taught the audience a new way to take notes so as to get the most value out of them. You should start using it immediately — I know I’m going to. It all begins with drawing a line down the center of the page.

I spend a lot of time taking notes and almost as much time thinking about how I could do it better. I switched from typing notes to writing them by hand when I learned research showed handwritten notes improve comprehension and retention. Once I started using a bullet journal a year or two ago, I began keeping important handwritten notes there (rather than in the notepads provided at every conference). That way I can always find them when I need them.

That was as far as my note-taking evolution had gotten — until I attended Kwik’s webinar and it changed my whole thinking about how to do it. Here’s what I learned.

  1. Draw a line down the center of a piece of paper.
    To illustrate, Kwik picked up a pad and drew a line down the center of it. (If, like me, you’re using a journal instead of a pad, it probably makes more sense to divide your notes into the left-hand page and the right-hand page instead.)

“On the left side of the page, I want you to capture,” he said. “On the right side, I want you to create.”

  1. Filter what you capture.
    Let’s start with the left-hand side of your page or notebook. The reason handwritten notes aid in retention is counterintuitive: It’s because you can’t write everything down. When you type, you can capture pretty much everything that someone says. Unless you know shorthand, it’s impossible to do this when writing by hand.

“So the reason why you learn better is because it forces you to add a filter and ask yourself questions about how important something is and how you’ll use it,” Kwik said. He had also explained during the webinar that the key to remembering things is your state of mind. Information in itself is not memorable, but it becomes a long-term memory when it’s combined with an emotion, he said — which is why you remember few of your high school classes, but may be able to recall many of the songs you listened to back then. With that in mind, make sure to write down reminders of examples and anecdotes, especially if they made an impression on you.

  1. Ask yourself these vital questions.
    What should you write on the right side of your page or notebook, the “create” side? I think you should let your imagination run free. Write down your responses to what you’re hearing, including what doesn’t work for you, what you think is very smart, and anything that gives you insight into your own life and work.

To get the most use out of what you’re learning, Kwik also recommends writing the answers to three questions: How will I use this? Why must I use this? When will I use this? “If you start asking yourself, ‘How can I use this? How can I use this?’ you’ll take that knowledge and turn it into power,” Kwik explained. So, for example, if I was sitting in a meeting with a potential new client and taking notes this way, on the left side I might write down what they say they need and on the right side, what I can pitch them to fulfill that need.

Answering the question “Why must I use this?” will help you actually act on this knowledge, Kwik said. “You’ll tap into purpose, which will give you energy to overcome inertia and procrastination.”

What about “When will I use this?” Answering this question might be the most powerful thing you can do, because it means you’re making a commitment to yourself that you will take action and thus reap the benefits of what you’ve learned. “The best performance tool you have is free — it’s your calendar,” Kwik said. “You put investor meetings and client meetings in your calendar, but you don’t put in your own growth.”

Figuring out the what, why, and when of using new information gives you the best chance of getting real value out of what you’ve learned. I can’t wait to try it next time I attend a meeting or (real or virtual) event.

French words to incorporate into your vocabulary.

Are you ready to up your vocabulary game? How about using some French words?

Well, technically, you already do. It’s believed that roughly one-third of English words originated in French. Among these, thousands of French words have been borrowed exactly as they are. These are known as true cognates. In some cases, these terms define concepts that have no English counterpart.

Are you using these common French terms and phrases correctly?

1) Savoir-faire is “the knowledge of what to do in any situation,” or, in other words, tact.

The term entered English from French in the early 1800s. Its literal translation is “knowing how to do.”

In English, this loanword is often used to describe social tactfulness, but in French this is just one of many terms in the lexicon of social refinement.

Bonus: savoir-vivre is the knowledge of the ways of polite society, translating literally to “knowing how to live.”

2) Ennui stems from the Old French word enui meaning “displeasure” or “annoyance.”

Ultimately, this, as well as the English term annoy, can be traced to the Latin in odiō meaning “hated.”

Today ennui means “weariness or discontent from lack of interest, or boredom,” in both French and English alike

3) The French call someone who enjoys indulging in food, drink, and the finer things in life a Bon vivant, which translates to “well-living man.”

The feminine variant is bonne vivante.

Bon vivant doesn’t quite have an English equivalent, which is why English speakers borrowed from the French, who know a thing or two about the good life.

4) Carte blanche comes from the French card game piquet, which became popular with the English in the mid-1600s. In the game, a carte blanche was a hand with no face cards.

Over time its meaning evolved to include signing a blank paper without the stipulations written on it, thus paving the way for its contemporary definition: “having unconditional authority.”

5) Je ne sais quoi is just as mysterious as it sounds. This term, which translates to “I don’t know what,” means “an indefinable, elusive quality, especially a pleasing one.”

Borrowed in the mid-1600s, this phrase initially referred to any mysterious trait. Today, je ne sais quoi is largely used to discuss pleasing characteristics.

6) Avant-garde was first borrowed from French in the 1400s as a military term. It translates literally to “advance guard” and shares linguistic roots with the term vanguard.

In the early 1900s, avant-garde began to be used in English to refer to artistic innovation. This meaning is more relevant now, as avant-garde is often used to refer to artists, writers, or musicians whose techniques and ideas are experimental or ahead of the curve.

The term is also used as an adjective to mean “radical, daring.”

7) Trompe l’oeil is an artistic technique in which extreme detail is used to create the illusion that flat surfaces, such as canvases and walls, appear three-dimensional.

But, the literal translation of trompe l’oeil is “fools the eye,” which might be a little easier to incorporate into your vocab.

Even though the word has only been on loan since the late 1800s, trompe l’oeil technique dates all the way back to the early Renaissance.

8) Femme fatale is an “irresistibly attractive woman who leads men to their downfall.”

While the archetype of dangerously sexy women has existed for quite some time, femme fatale, French for “fatal woman,” became popular in English in the late 1800s.

The femme fatale has since become a film noir character and stock James Bond villai.

9) Nouveau riche, French for “new rich,” is a recently wealthy individual or class. This term entered English around 1800 and gained new relevance in the United States during the Gilded Age, a period of rapid economic growth in tandem with poverty and social inequity.

These days, nouveau riche is often used pejoratively to characterize ostentatious spending tastes.

Bonne lecture!!😊

Books Are Good for Your Brain. These Techniques Will Help You Read More.

Books Are Good for Your Brain. These Techniques Will Help You Read More.
Turn yourself into a bookworm.
Popular Science
Sara Chodosh

Who can find time to read?

Reading books can exercise your brain and even boost your emotional intelligence. Despite this, about a quarter of all Americans haven’t read a book in the last year and our overall book-reading time is on the decline.

In the new year, it’s time to buck this trend. But how do you find the time to read full-length books—and why should you bother in the first place?

Why You Should Embrace Books
Science has found that reading is essential for a healthy brain. We already know reading is good for children’s developing noggins: A study of twins at the University of California at Berkeley found that kids who started reading at an earlier age went on to perform better on certain intelligence tests, such as analyses of their vocabulary size.

Other studies show that reading continues to develop the brains of adults. One 2012 Stanford University study, where people read passages of Jane Austen while inside an MRI, indicates that different types of reading exercise different parts of your brain. As you get older, another study suggests, reading might help slow down or even halt cognitive decline.

Words on a page can also improve your emotional intelligence. A 2016 overview of the issue demonstrated that fiction readers tend to have a well-developed sense of what psychologists call “theory of mind.” This is the ability to attribute mental states to yourself and to others, and to grasp that other people may have different desires, emotions, and thoughts. As a result, regular readers show more empathy for other people.

So books can not only stretch your brain, but also make you a better person. Now to dig down and actually read more.

How to Fit in More Reading
You’ve got a busy schedule—sometimes you just can’t find the time to read. That’s why you need to start small. When setting a new goal, you should aim for a concrete task that you can build on later. So start your habit by reading, say, five pages of a book that interests you every day. Once you’re hitting five pages a day, try ten, then twenty, and keep pushing your goal horizon upward.

Focusing on your own interests is key. Don’t jump right into The Brothers Karamazov just because it’s Serious Literature—you can still get those aforementioned brain benefits from your favorite science fiction. Reading a book of your choice makes the activity a pleasure rather than a chore, so you’re more likely to do it. (And if you do have a yen for Dostoevsky, you can tackle that tome once you’ve made a regular habit of chewing through pages.)

As you start creating this routine, be kind. Self-criticism, aka “self-bullying,” has been shown to keep you from achieving your goals. So cut yourself some slack, especially if you’re starting from zero. Even if you miss a day, recognize that we all sometimes stay out late, get wrapped up in a TV show, or just forget. Be willing to pick yourself back up and honor the long-term commitment the next day.

To fit in those five pages, it also helps to keep a book, audiobook app, or e-reader on you as you go about the day. Then, when you have some down time—you’re waiting for a friend, dozing through your commute, or doing a task that doesn’t require your full attention—you can open your text instead of pulling up your favorite smartphone game.

This brings us to the great debate: pages versus screens versus audio. While paper is still the clear winner in the court of public opinion, science hasn’t proven that physical books are inherently better than digital ones.

The academic research has mostly focused on retention, that is, how much of a book’s events you remember after you read it. Although paper books may have a leg up on that score, their advantage appears to depend on environment and context. The aforementioned pro-paper study took place in a laboratory setting: Students all read the same text, but some looked at the words on paper and others viewed an on-screen PDF. A different study looked at kids in the classroom, reading from either a book or an iPad, and found no meaningful difference between the two media.

Carrying an e-reader with you certainly makes it easy to churn through pages at any time. But which one should you choose? You could see who offers e-ink screens, look for the lowest price, or obsess over specs. But the main point to consider is the books you like to read. While you’ll find most large publishers on all the major e-reader platforms, Amazon’s Kindle is by far the most popular storefront for self-published books and niche tastes. If there’s an author or genre you’re particularly interested in, do some research and see which stores they sell through—Amazon, Rakuten’s Kobo, or Barnes and Noble’s Nook—before you buy. And remember, you can always try out the apps before you invest in the device.

As for audiobooks, the research so far has found that they stimulate the brain just as deeply as black-and-white pages, although they affect your gray matter somewhat differently. Because you’re listening to a story, you’re using different methods to decode and comprehend it. With print books, you need to provide the voice, called the prosody—you’re imagining the “tune and rhythm of speech,” the intonation, the stress on certain syllables, and so. With audio, the voice actor provides that information for you, so your brain isn’t generating the prosody itself, but rather working to understand the prosody in your ears.

Prosody aside, audiobooks still impact your thoughts and feelings. In other words, yes, listening to them “counts” as reading. This is good news, because they make it easy to squeeze more book time into your schedule. You can plug in some headphones and listen to an audiobook even when you need to keep your eyes peeled—like when you ride, walk, or drive to work. In fact, on the highway, an audiobook may help you pay attention: The slight distraction lets your brain keep a handle on repetitive or monotonous tasks like long drives on the highway.

If you don’t want to spend too much money, you can also enjoy digital books without paying a cent. Libraries have been embracing technology by leaps and bounds, with two apps in particular: Overdrive and its sister Libby. Simply download the app, find your library, and enter your library card number. After this setup, you can borrow free ebooks and audiobooks, then read or listen to them through the app or on a compatible device. And if you already have an Amazon Prime account, you can save a little money by browsing its various lending libraries and enjoying the free book you get once a month.

Ultimately, if you hope to get a reading habit going, you shouldn’t dismiss paper, digital, or audio. Go with what makes the most sense for your needs, choosing a combination of the three depending on the occasion.

Apply Your New Habit
Now that you’re turning into a bookworm, your new habit can help you in all sorts of ways.

For example, one study measured how certain activities slowed heart rate and found that reading just six pages of a book makes you 68 percent more relaxed. But that research was commissioned by a chocolate company running a book giveaway, not exactly an unbiased source of funding. Plus, the calming effect likely depends on the book—just ask anybody who’s read Stephen King late at night.

That doesn’t mean reading can’t help you sleep, though. Browsing through a book is a common “calming activity,” part of the daily bedtime routine doctors recommend you establish. Reading in bed can essentially cue your body to go to sleep.

If you spend your evening with your nose in paper pages, they will also prevent you from indulging in bad habits like looking at your phone before bed. And if all you have to read is on your phone, you can minimize the amount of light it projects to prevent it from disrupting your z’s too much.

Books can even help you get fit—that is, if they’re audiobooks. It comes down to a technique called “temptation bundling.” A University of Pennsylvania study found that people who were only allowed to listen to a thrilling audiobook at the gym hit the treadmill more often. Trashy thrillers, it turns out, are a great way to get in shape.

Finally, reading has the power to boost your productivity. Taking a break from one task to focus on another, one that uses different skills, can improve your focus and your short-term memory. So mentally stepping away for a moment lets you return to the task with a fresh vision and renewed focus. Next time you lose motivation at work, the solution could be taking in a few pages during your lunch break